Gastrorgasms: When Food Is Better Than Sex

332 15th Ave E, Seattle, WA 98103 (map)

"If I?m just looking for a quickie, I?m heading to Smith for tall-boys and a Gruyere and onion-jam sandwich (with bacon, of course!). If I?m looking for something a little more meaningful and long-lasting? Then I?m heading straight to Boat Street Cafe for Renee?s pork belly. It?s not always on the menu, but when it is--total food-orgasm. For a super-sexy dessert? The strawberry cupcake from Cupcake Royale won?t disappoint!"

5609 Corson Ave S, Seattle, WA 98108 (map)

"Sitting outside under the late-afternoon sun, enjoying an exquisite meal at the Corson Building--the lush brick restaurant in Georgetown--was akin to a tryst in the sack. In fact, it was by far better than some sex I've had. Heirloom tomatoes, cucumbers and ricotta salata that slid down my throat like nectar, honest roasted potatoes, duck confit that by itself could spark an orgasm, ripe cherries? Of course, sex is ever-present (or is that just me?)--particularly when dining with a group that includes a former lover and you're debating the merits and faults of a recent dalliance, among other fervent topics of the sort necessary for a stimulating evening. But, this meal, this picnic amidst a gorgeous garden and beautiful people, with Emily's food dripping of delicious flavors and rousing textures, embodied a lustful, sexy sensuality, one that left me deeply satisfied and craving a cigarette."

1117 12th Ave, Seattle, WA 98122 (map)

"Julia Child once said that, 'life itself is the proper binge.' In my mind, that pretty much levels the playing field when it comes to food and sex. After all, my most fulfilling affairs will forever be linked to where we ate the night before and what was cooked the morning after. In our fair city, Cafe Presse is the perfect launching pad for intimate trysts and my personal cure-all for wounded hearts. When asparagus is in season and my need for buttery ham is only surpassed by my thirst for a demi pichet of delectable wine, Presse gathers my carnal desires into the perfect storm of gastronomic ecstasy. The asparagus salad, croque madame and a choice bacchantic beverage make for a meal that is almost as titillating as a scandalous weekend abroad. A West Seattle girl at heart, there?s nothing like wandering into Bakery Nouveau, sleepy-eyed and bed-headed, for a fantastic morning-after Americano (courtesy of Lighthouse Roasters) and a twice-baked almond croissant. Not since I was introduced to their preferred style of kissing in the sixth grade have the French done so much for the quality of my love life."

2808 E Madison St, Seattle, WA 98112 (map)

"This is a tough question to answer, not because I haven?t felt orgasmic after eating certain foods, but because, let?s be honest, food is not better than sex. Nonetheless, here are some dishes that come awfully close (in no particular order): Just about every dish I had the last (and only) time I ate dinner at Rover?s; the Marco Polo sandwich at Salumi; the Empress cocktail at Spur (ok, this is almost as good as sex); and anything that Queen Sheeba puts on top of their injera. I suppose the one thing about the dishes on this list that IS better than sex is that it?s okay that I can?t remember all of their names."

1531 14th Ave, Seattle, WA 98122 (map)

"Hmm. Seattle may very well be blessed with remarkable food but I think the sex in this town still outweighs the carnitas. However, here is a short list of things that border on the orgasmic: almost anything Matt Dillon or Emily Crawford touch (or stroke, finger, puree, macerate) leaves me rather breathless, the pasta at Spinasse made my nipples hard, the pork tacos at La Carta have evoked thoughts of late nights in Tijuana, but the lack of gelato in this town makes me feel like someone somewhere is definitely faking an orgasm."